Entry 5; 9-19-99

Saturday night became Sunday morning again at the pizza place I've called my second home. Imagine that...This Overnight DJ has resorted to working at the beer and pinball palace of choice in this decade of the 90's.

So we got one of these pinball 2000 things--cool. There's a few of them in town. The high scores are around 1 billion. I had the high score on our game, 1.2 billion.
Over the last 3 days, I found another one of these machines, at a different place, with a 1.6 billion high score, the name was UGA. Also, somebody named JAY managed to put a 1.5 billion score on the game at my second home.

At work tonight, my peers were all concerned that I had lost my pinball crown to this (new?) JAY person. And let the record show that I had never Attacked Mars twice in one game--and did not know if I ever would either. This is no simple pinball machine; I have respect for this JAY person and his score; congrads to him, and UGA, too.

After work tonight, all I wanted was one chance to play it--with the new knowledge that I was no longer the best. And the game I played began very weakly--starting the 3rd ball with less than 50 million. However, I broke 1 billion before starting ball 4. On one (of the few) 4th ball(s) I finally Attacked Mars for the second time, and I was extremely happy with my 1.6 billion score (and new high score). Then I set my sights on 1.7 billion. I won another extra ball on my 5th ball, and when the game was over I had 1.713 billion.

I'm sure that this will be old news soon; but as of right now, I am the "Revenge from Mars" champion of Athens Ga. The efforts of Jay and UGA motivated me to achieve far beyond my own expectations. 2 billion and 3 billion games will be scored by all of us in the near future, but for now I quietly regain my pinball crown. Thank you.

If you read all the way through this thing, and you don't know much about pinball, you may not feel any better now. So here's a link from it to your own little world: Sometimes within minor accomplishments we may feel as though we have done more than enough to get the job done. Perhaps we HAVE gotten the job done, maybe even extremely well, but there is always room for improvement. So before you go thinking that you are the King of some little insignificant hill (DJ-ing, pinball, whatever), remember that a TRUE King never rests...he is always looking for ways to get better and score higher; maybe even diversify his portfolio.

Now find a way to make this pinball metaphor work to advantage in your pathetic life.

Entry 6; 9-26-99

Hello again. This would be a great week to ramble about stuff. However, I promised to TRY to avoid that when I started this online journal.

I am not upset that the world hasn't ended yet. I am not upset that I have lived my life in preparation for the world to end at any moment. I never meant to have roots, and I don't. As soon as I DO find something that I really want to be a part of for forever, that is when the big bubble will burst. It's kind of like "Murphy's Law" for devastation. And yes, by the way, the world DOES revolve around me.

Most people have a favorite philosopher, or prediction-maker, or, most people like some 'smart guy' from the past. My personal pick is the "sleeping prophet", Edgar Cayce. A chain-smoker and java junkie, Cayce's amazing abilities are some of the most impressive ever recorded--over 14,000 documented trance readings--and all were done in the 20th Century, wow. There are some very important religious and scientific reasons that you don't learn about Edgar Cayce in school (duh), but I am not here now to praise him.

Amidst thousands of predictions that all proved correct, Cayce mentioned that the "third devil" would rise up and show his power in the seventh month of 1999. As you might imagine, I watched the news every day in July of this year. I was sure that something obvious was going to happen, and that Cayce's perfect record in predictions would continue. Even though none of us has a true look behind the scenes of the powers that be, it certainly appears that no devil rose to power (or reared his head) 2 months ago. Oh well.

So let's talk about current events: This week, Clinton televised his GOP tax cut bill veto, and called it a 'ceremony'. He smiled and spoke, and shook hands, and kissed babies. Wasn't that nice? CNN is cool. And on public television, earlier this week, news was that 50 billion dollars ($50,000,000,000) of American Taxpayers money has been swallowed up by the new Russian bureacracy (shhh, don't say "Mafia"). The money was intended for the citizens, but didn't quite trickle down far enough. Oops. And all the while, Clinton is buddying around with Russian Leader Boris Yeltsin (shhh, don't say "Mafia Boss"), smiling and speaking, shaking hands and kissing babies.

I guess that with the "loss" of 50 billion dollars of OUR money, ol' President Bill simply cannot afford to cut OUR taxes. But he didn't say it like that at the 'ceremony', did he?

No.

Also this week, I saw the movie "American History X". It was very good; like a movie. And it was very disturbing, like the news. And since I don't want this entire entry to be all serious and unhappy, I would like to end on a VERY pleasant note. There is a television show that stars some extremely talented people like:(Jeez, I hope I can remember all of their names) Alex Borstein, Mo Collins, Pat Kilbane, Phil Lamarr, Mike McDonald, Will Sasso, Aries Spears, Nicole Sullivan, and Debra Wilson. I think I actually got all 9 of them, woo-hooo! Congratulations, and many beers to the cast of MADtv--and an excellent season premier show that celebrated 5 years of being on television last night.

Entry 7; 10-20-99

Magic has been proven. The supernatural has been proven. Perpetual motion has been proven.A higher intelligence than humans, and an ability to communicate with them has been proven.

Do I have your attention? Isn't it cute how these little things that we were all taught to believe to be impossible...are actually true? I think it's hilarious.

Just a reminder: the current, and last 2 presidents before him have directly and knowingly lied to us on prime time television. Isn't that cute? Now hang on...I imagine that all the presidents have lied; a lying president is not the problem. But all 3 presidents since 1985 have directly and knowingly lied to us on prime time television in futile attempts to cover up their own impeachable offenses. I think it's hilarious. In fact, I am giggling in advance for whatever the theme of this year's "get out and vote" campaign--coming later this month. Please.

Do I seem upset? That's what people ask me; 'Hey Overnight Guy, what crawled up your ass and died?' The answer is: reality. In order to keep from killing dozens (millions) of stupid people, I have to distract myself from reality.

Want a zinger? OK, I'll zing ya. If you DON'T have to distract yourself from reality, then you're not paying attention. Or, even better, your fat ass is part of the problem. And then other people ask me 'So why do you put so much emphasis on playing pinball, throwing frisbee, and watching movies? (Try to catch this--so we can have continuation) They are distractions from reality. "But you can't make money with them, so why are they so important?"

Is this how we judge importance now? This new generation of eyebrow studs and tongue rings measures life by profitability? Great. The young adult crack-babies with their face metal want to focus on the bottom line; and nothing else matters...

So I guess art is dead; there's no money there. The corporates have already killed off songwriting, poetry, and good radio (and I can prove all 3 with one comment: 'I did it all for the nookie'). Hmmm. Has love been totally phased out by lust, too?

So...there is no simple joy in life now? I'm just asking, okay? Must you be selfish and demanding, constantly in search of something better- -all the time? Is that what being motivated is? Is this an admirable quality that you hope to find in people you want to be close to? I suddenly feel very bad about being a human; but not bad at all about being a loner.

And now I feel a little depressed. I guess that I'm going to have to go play some pinball pretty soon. Imagine that.

Entry 8; 11-26-99

Warning: In this entry I say way too much, way too fast, and for way too long. What follows is very harsh. It has adult language, delusions of grandeur, child-cannibalism, and threats made to higher beings. Due to its content, impact, and potential repercussions--not only should it not be read by anyone, but it should never have been put online at all. Now kiss my ass.

When you're young and ignorant, it is standard operaring procedure to be enthusiastic and optimistic. Life is fun; for the most part. It's supposed to be. Of course, it didn't last too long for me. I've seen implants, experienced lost time, and felt enigmas; all of these before becoming a teenager. Fun?

I'm having trouble writing right now. But Happy Thanksgiving everybody. I want to die soon, but not before I kill a few select people first. Happy Turkey though. There's nothing I want badly enough to work for, and I can't stay committed to anything. Gobble Gobble to you. I cussed my mother out and told her that I had nothing to live for. May your feast be enjoyable.

I have put up with alot of bullshit for my entire life. I have been a messenger, a retriever, and an observer. I have done my time. Very soon, and I stress VERY soon, a fat sack of money had better land right in my lap. If it doesn't, I'm going to make a medium-sized mess that might even facilitate the big ending. Yeah...

I'm pretty pissed that the world hasn't ended, so maybe I'll just end it myself. Is that what you alien fucks want? I mean, I was willing to go out to the desert and play errand-boy some more. I would've even looked for another microphone to scream "Wake up!" into, and tried to help with the whole "greater understanding premise" that has been preached to me. But apparently that's not good enough.

I guess you don't really need me anymore, huh? Is that it? Did you expect me to just fade away? Well, I certainly hope to disappoint you. I was told that I was the only one of my kind, but I've already met 2 others like me. What's up with that? How many lies were there? Were there any truths?

You were smart to not tell me much, because I would let it all out now. Right now, however, spewing everything I know would not change anything; I'd be just another one of those silly clones spouting on about higher forces and cloaked airships.

Still, it seems like you would be wiser to keep me on your side than to turn me against you. But what the hell do I know? I think that you skinny little "superiors" are just as screwed up as we are. I say that your home planet is trash, and all you can do is come here and act all tough with your 33% brain power. You play like you're gods; the final step of evolution, but you're barely even a full step ahead of us. You still lie, cheat, and steal like greedy rich kids. And you're ugly. Damn ugly. Screw all of you.

The only thing you can take from me is something that you gave to me in the first place. As if I were even begging to keep it, you overgrown skeletons. I know, I know. I'm supposed to wait until January. Screw you. YOU wait until January, you thick-skinned munchkins. I want some damn closure. You know how easy it would be to shut me up for awhile, for good, or even to silence me altogether; still you do nothing. You pussies really piss me off. Quit your damn laughing already. It's so nice to know that I amuse you.

Drastic times call for some sick, twisted shit...Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be alive? Do you know how precious a gift life is? I can't do this.

This is supposed to be a vacation. This is supposed to be a living dream. This is supposed to be something that makes you want to jump out of bed and say 'Yes! I am alive.'. You are supposed to love being alive. You are intended to strive far, and improve, everyday. I can't do this either.

This is a joke. This whole frame of circular logic around being alive is a crock. People try to trick enthusiasm out of you, or you are supposed to force enthusiasm out of yourself. Love, a family, a good job/job security, money, woo-hooo, these things are supposed to motivate you. HA! I can't do this one either, but at least I'm giggling.

Do you want my opinions on love, family, work, and money? I'm a 7 time loser at love, from a broken family, and I've never made more than $14K in a year from any one, two, or three jobs combined. No, I don't think I'll be hosting any positive-thinking infomercials on your favorite cable channel.

So, why am I still here? Why haven't I blown up a mall, or at least taken revenge on some of the people that have screwed me? That's a fair pair of questions, but my answer is weak. I simply haven't snapped yet. Very close at times, yes, but not completely there.

I keep hoping for a big stroke of good luck to come along and set things right. I keep looking for some answers, or at least some follow-up information to some of the things that were "told" to me in my youth. Many aspects of my enlightenment have proven true, but not all of them. It does make me want to wait-and-see, at least for a little longer. But I am very impatient; and I do hear the bomb ticking, although it's been ticking for a couple of years now.

I haven't snapped yet. I'm like volcano that has minor eruptions daily. I throw little fits all the time. If I could just keep the anger bottled up for a week or two, I'd definitely be ready to go chop up some babies. I'd videotape myself creating a pre-schoolers' gumbo; devil-laughing as I stirred the pot, while the soon-to-be soup children screamed and cried "Mommy! Mommy!". Now there's some motivation: "Your honor, for my last meal I'd like some kiddie stew. And, um, can I make it myself?"

So I'll stay here and pretend like I don't mind knowing that I don't know what I thought I did. And yes, I do finally understand that if I really did know--that would be an unfair advantage. You're welcome (as I shoot a bird at the sky).

I just want some little boost to push me through here. Is that too much to ask for? Let me write another really good poem or something. A good poem might carry me all the way to January, see? Think about it.

Please consider my request for such a small reward. And; I don't really have an ending, a zinger, or even a close for this. Seriously; stirring the kiddie stew was definitely the pinnacle here. So I guess I'll just have to end by saying:
Happy Thanksgiving
you yummy little turkey-brats you.


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